Lessons I learned from a child with a brain tumor

1. Stop. Look at the person who is talking and listen. You can hear a lot more than the words they are saying.

I didn't understand him very easily until I consciously thought that I needed to stop "multitasking" while in the room and focus on him speaking. When I was patient with him while speaking (he stuttered and had a hard time getting words out) he was more patient with himself and had an easier time communicating with me. Therefore making my job easier and making his day better.

2. The more you understand someone, the less frustrated and angry they become.

After, I learned lesson number one, I realized that he could understand more of what I said than I originally thought. If I was patient with him, he was patient with himself and would become less frustrated. He would then be more willing to get from the bed to the chair and back on his own rather than just laying in bed all day. Often, the process of having him move from the bed to the chair was met with crying and screaming, but he knew, that I knew, that he didn't want to do it, but that "no" wasn't an option.

3. Don't underestimate someone's abilities.

When it came time for his medicine. I was prepared for a battle. I had another nurse on the "back up" that I could call in if I needed help "giving" him the medicine. I went in and sat on his bed with the 3 medicines he needed to take. I asked him which one he wanted first. He chose the one with the least amount. Then, I asked him if he wanted to do it or he wanted me to. (this is all done very slowly, but I realized, my patience would be rewarded) He reached out for the medicine, messed with the cap on the syringe and finally pulled it off. Put the syringe to his mouth and pushed in the medicine. He took the next one, removed the cap (after struggling with it) and took the medicine. He did all three without a hitch. Shocked me and the other nurse waiting outside. But I couldn't have been more happy.

4. Be careful what you say around someone. They remember everything you don't want them to remember.

This is one of those things that I could beat myself up over. Someone was passing out pizza on the unit, asking if my patients wanted a piece. I thought of my brain tumor patient who hadn't eaten much all day. I went into his room said "Do you want some Piz...How is your pepsi?" I stopped before finishing the word "pizza" Hoping that he hadn't caught on to what I said. I had forgotten that he was on a pureed diet. (that doesn't include pizza in case you were wondering ;-) ) When dinner was delivered, I took in his tray. He looked at the jello, applesauce, yogurt and "green stuff" and says "you forgot my pizza" He really made me feel bad when the next morning I asked if he wanted something to eat. He said 'pizza" I said "how about some applesauce? pudding? yogurt?" He said "I eat applesauce, pudding, yogurt all day long" In his broken up, stuttering words. He then informed me that he wanted his food on a plate. (everything was pureed and in little bowls) and he didn't want any "green stuff"

5. Just because someone kicks you, doesn't mean they don't like you.

When I walked into his room for the first time on my shift, his diaper had leaked and he had soaked through everything on his bed. I apologized and said I needed to give him a bath right away that morning. Then get him up into the wheelchair so the mattress could be cleaned. He started crying and screaming because he hates baths. He actually kicked me during this process. Then later that evening as I was saying good night. He asked where I was going. I explained that I needed to go home to sleep. He asked when I would be back. I said I would be back on Friday. He smiled and said. "OK. I'll see you Friday"

Hairpins

I have just discovered (again) that I am a hypocrite.

A few days ago a friend was over and wanted to borrow some DVDs. We started talking about how sometimes people don't return things that they have borrowed. I made a comment about not understanding how someone can have something of someone else's and not know that it's not theirs. I just don't get it.

Then today...I opened a drawer in my bathroom and discovered some hair clips this same friend loaned me months ago and I still haven't returned. Hypocrite.

As a side note, we have a program on our Mac that I love called Delicious Library. When you enter in the ISBN of a DVD/Book/CD. It stores it in your "library" and then when someone wants to borrow it, you enter it into the program, assign a return date, etc. Helping to keep track of who has what. If you're interested, here's a website. http://www.delicious-monster.com/ I wonder if they have a way to keep track of hairpins loaned out to hypocritical friends?

Coloseum

Sadly, the Coloseum is falling down. Still very impressive to walk up to it. We weren't able to go inside because we arrived after they were done selling tickets for the day. It closes at sunset. Don't tell my friend Meigan, (she and her husband were in Rome with us) I was somewhat glad we couldn't go inside, it meant we wouldn't be re-enacting a scene from Gladiator. She's the theatrical one, not me. It was funny, there were a lot of cats around the Coloseum, Meigan sat with one and we joked that it was probably trained to pickpocket. As it turns out, there was a homeless lady there with a ton of cats around her cart. We appropriately took a picture and called her "the cat lady." I wonder if she would have wanted a part in our re-enactment?

Trevi Fountain

There are fountains and statues all around Rome. Every walk we took led us past tens of them. There are probably hundreds all over Rome. So, in all honesty, I have tons of pictures of statues and fountains that I don't know the names of or even significance of. The most famous of these is Trevi Fountain. The legend is that if you throw a coin in the fountain, you will return to Rome...we tossed a coin in...we shall see if this fountain makes our wish come true. This place was busy all times of the day. This was not really surprising being that Rome doesn't really wake up until early afternoon and doesn't go to sleep until well into the wee hours of the morning.

Vatican

The Vatican was magnificent! Even before we walked inside, it's quite impressive. It is built at the end of a street, making it quite exciting to see it all the way down the road. The "arms" that are "hallways" built on either side are huge and really appear to be arms, especially from the view from the top of the tower. The climb to the tower was something. (Our friends tell us it is nothing compared to the climb of Notre Dame) But it is quite worth it after all those narrow, winding stairs. The paintings on the dome and everywhere are impressive and beautiful. Precious stones and metals were used to build everything in the Vatican and it all looks amazing.

The IT Crowd

I am soon learning that I love British comedy. My husband first introduced it to me by showing me "The Office." The british TV show that the American version is based on. It took me a few episodes to catch what they were saying and get used to the accent. Soon I was addicted and we finished the first couple seasons over a few days.

Then, last night, he downloaded a show called "The IT Crowd" He told me it was another British comedy. I had just finished working a full shift, so I wasn't excited to watch a show. I just wanted to go to bed. He promised I would like it. You know what...I loved it!!! It started off with a girl interviewing for a job in this huge company with a great view of the city, huge windows, beautiful bathrooms, etc. The boss (who knows nothing about computers) decides to hire her (she knows how to use email and surf the internet) for Supervisor of IT -Information Technology - aka computer nerds.

He sends her to the basement where her office is. She passes by everything you could think of in the basement. We were cracking up that the computer people were in the basement, isn't that how it always is. The computer people are just thrown anywhere in the worst place of the building. Then there are the two guys in the room, they were so stereotypical for IT people. You had the desktop support manager, (who took his precious time answering the phone while he finished his donut/coffee) after he finally picks up the phone, he tries to solve a problem by telling the person to turn the computer off and on again. Then you have the programmer who says and takes everything literally and corrects anyone that is incorrect. Of course these two are upset to learn that she (having no computer knowledge whatsoever) is their new boss. She tries to pretend that she knows what she's doing by typing when they come into the room. Of course, they figure out that the computer isn't plugged in.

The entire show was hilarious and they end up trying to figure out a way that they can use her "people skills" to make the other people in the company happy. (this idea was inspired after a lady came down and beat the desk support guy with a high heel) I'm excited to see the rest of the episodes.

Who would have ever though I would enjoy a British comedy about Information Technology people? I now understand Nathan's job a little better. When will the British come out with a show about nurses so Nathan can understand my job better?

MacWorld

We had a great time at MacWorld. The most exciting thing for me was the updates to their software included in iLife. They released a new iMAC with duo core intel processors. (much faster) Since Nathan had just sold our other iMAC a few days before leaving, we purchased a new one and the updated iLife programs will be included. I'm really excited for the changes in iphoto and they have a new one program called iWeb that looks great. So hopefully, there will be some changes to this little blog. Stay tuned.

I was wrong

The last egg of the carton was cracked open last night. I was wrong, it was only a single yolk. It was fun while it lasted. As I cracked open the first egg of the new carton this evening, I couldn't help but anticipate and hope that it would be a double yolk. The excitement over all of this wasn't as much the fact that I saw that many double yolks, but rather, the number of double yolks in one carton! I think all in all it was about 9/12 were double yolks. Crazy!

We are off to MacWorld in San Francisco in a couple of days. I'll be sure to post on some of my favorite things we see there.

In case you've been wondering, the home improvement projects have been very slow lately. I'm hoping they start picking up in the next couple weeks now that Christmas is over.

Egg-Craziness Continues

In all honesty I have lost count of how many eggs were twins eggs, but in the last two days, I have cracked open two and they were both twins. I have one egg left of this crazy dozen. My bet is on twins.

Twin egg update

So, after making the eggs mentioned in the previous post, that same night we had invited friends over for dinner. I made a spicy chicken with bleu cheese dressing, salad and yummy mac and cheese. My mac and cheese recipe calls for 2 eggs/recipe. I made a double batch. So, I needed 4 eggs. Would you believe 3 out of those 4 eggs were twins again! That makes 6 out of 8 eggs used so far from this carton have been twins. This is too much fun for me!

Twin Chickens

My favorite part of eggs is the yolk. Sometimes I like my eggs hard and other times I like them soft, it just depends on my mood.

I know that twins can be genetic in humans. Because of this fact, I can only assume that twins are also genetic in chickens. I have non-scientific proof that this is true. Let me explain.

I buy brown cage-free eggs. I made myself an egg this morning. It was a beautiful fried egg on a piece of toast with a small piece of cheese melted on top. Yum! When my husband woke up, he also wanted an egg. So, I get an egg out of the refrigerator, heat up the skillet, crack the egg and surprise! Two yolks appear. I get all excited and show Nathan. He gets a little weirded-out and wants me to toss that one and crack open another one. So...egg number two gets cracked and no joke, out comes two yolks again! I start laughing. Nathan is really getting scared. So, I toss that one and crack open egg #3. Again!!! 2 yolks appear. I finally decide that after the fourth one, that's the one he's getting whether one yolk or two. Thankfully (for Nathan) it was just one yolk. It makes me wonder how many other eggs in that carton have two yolks? I'll keep you posted :)

Irrigation

Irrigation and I have always had a love/hate relationship. I have a great story from a long time ago involving a friend from New Jersey and Irrigation. I would consider this the beginning of my relationship with irrigation. However, there are many reasons I hate it. I hate when I am on a walk early in the morning and I have to walk in the middle of the street to avoid someone's overzealous sprinkler system, I hate when I want to get to a front door, except it's the most inopportune time because the sprinklers are spraying all over the sidewalk. But today I have a reason to despise irrigation...(Granted my husband did most of the work with some friends, but that doesn't mean I can't complain about the little bit of work I had to do)

First off, my first job was to "move dirt around." Supposedly I was leveling out the dirt so that it would be even for when they trenched. I couldn't help but think I was a little kid given a job to just keep me busy. You know, move that dirt from here to there. Then Nathan and a couple friends rented a trencher and trenched the whole thing. I made them lunch and then drove an hour to pick up a friend of ours to hang out for the night. Then this morning, we had to finish all the digging that the trenching couldn't accomplish. The detailing stuff, you know. But despite all the complaining, most of the lines appear to be in. All we need to do is attach the valves and dig a small trench in front of the wall. I have discovered that the less I complain, the more praise I get for helping and the better my work looks. :)

I'm sure that in a few weeks once the trenches are filled again, the grass seed is being watered everyday and we have a green yard, irrigation and I will be on good terms again.

Chinglish

I'd forgotten about this picture we took while in China. We saw many examples of this. We call it Chinglish. I couldn't believe that we saw this sign in the airport. I can't remember which one, but it makes me wonder how misspelled and wrong our foreign language translations are in the United States.

Kitchen Update

Here is an updated picture of our kitchen. We still need to add trim above the cupboard & below the counters. I have been cooking a lot more the last couple months now that the kitchen is pretty much done.

Home update

Here is a picture of our new sidewalk. I am so excited! No more mud being drug into the house! We still need to finish the wall and repaint the house.

Friends

I have always had a difficult time making friends. Good friends. I think generally people like me, but it is difficult for me to automatically "connect" with someone and feel as if I can be open and share things with them. As I've lived in California, I have made some friends, but a lot of them live just far enough away that you have to "plan" to get together. Others of them, I enjoy getting together every now and then, but we don't see them very often.

Nathan and I have a set of friends that we've been casual friends with for some time now. They just recently moved a short distance away from us. They have invited us over to their apartment every Wed to watch Lost with them. In this deal, we also get a meal that Rachel has made. She says she looks forward to the weekly visits because she loves having us over and entertaining. It's the highlight of her week. Well, it's also the highlight of my week. She is a woman of God, inspiring me without even knowing that's what she's doing. Our conversations seem to flow, no awkward pauses. She genuinely cares about other people. We don't know similar people, so the desire to gossip isn't there. We have similar tastes, yet know that if we disagree on something, we don't hold it against one another. I had been praying for a friend that lived close by that I could relate to and I feel that God has answered my prayer. For this, I am grateful to Him.

Routine

My husband always jokes that I am like an infant. I am eat, poop and sleep. Infants thrive on routine. Something that is predictable, where all their needs are being met.

I am just now beginning to understand the importance of routines. When I was in school, it was easy to have a routine and I never gave it much thought. Now that I've been working for more than 2 years, I find myself longing for a routine. I have to consciously think about it. My schedule at work is not consistent. As a nurse, I could be scheduled for any day of the week. The only constant, is that I need to work every 3rd weekend. When Nathan's grandma lost her driver's license, I requested to have every Tuesday off so that I can plan to do things with her. When she needs to make plans or appointments, she knows that I will be available to help her on Tuesdays. This is what sparked my curiosity in routines.

I've discovered that even the most basic of routines can be very calming and refreshing. Since I am pretty much worthless around the house the days I work, I have developed a routine for my days off. I get up and walk for an hour in the morning, come back and wake up Nathan for work, shower, eat breakfast, empty the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry, tidy-up around the house and by 9:00, I am free to complete whatever I have on my agenda for the day. Those few little things that I do in the morning, get me started and allow me to calmly accomplish everything else that day. There is something "destressing" about accomplishing those very basic and overlooked tasks before I can really relax and enjoy my day off.

Perfectionism

I am realizing how my need for perfection can easily get in the way of me accomplishing anything at all. Ironically, causing me to be far from perfect. It is the fear of not being (or doing something) perfect that paralyzes me from starting or finishing anything. For example, last weekend we went to Oak Glen and bought some apples, apple cider, pumpkins, etc. I made one apple pie, making the crust from scratch and everything. Mmmm, it was delicious! Then, I had a ton of apples left over and I wanted more apple pie and I wanted to give them to a few people as thank yous. I was not excited to make the crusts again, so the apples just sat there for a few more days.

As the apples are sitting there, I kept telling myself "you need to make the crusts so you can make apple pies" But I didn't want to make the crusts. So I kept putting it off. Finally, yesterday, I told myself it was o.k. to buy frozen crusts and just make the apple pies. What is better? Letting the apples sit and rot and not making the pies at all? Or...making the pies with frozen crusts and having a 75% delicious pie? After all, I was planning to make French Apple Pies. Everyone knows that the best part about a french apple pie is the streusel on top. Not the crust on the bottom! So...to make this story short, I decided to use the Marie Calendar brand crust (she makes good pies in the store, how can the frozen be any different? ) And you know what? I made 4 pies. One is in the freezer. We ate one and the other two are being given away. They are delicious! The streusel is everything I had hoped for and the apples are a perfect texture.

So here's my question: Since the pie is 75% delicious, does that make me 75% perfect?

Ellen

I love Ellen! I may not agree with her lifestyle, but I still feel that she is a great person that genuinely cares about everyone. There is something about having her show on while I'm on my day off waiting for Nathan to come home. I find myself laughing out loud at the things she does. Silly things that I think lighten a person's mood. She always starts her show out with a mini monologue that always makes me chuckle. Then, she breaks into dancing and has her entire audience up on their feet. One of the things that makes me laugh the most is how she is always bringing things that are HUGE onto her stage. For example, in today's show, she went through the audience and picked up someone's purse, took it up on stage and starts to look through it making jokes. Then, she says, "how about if I trade you for what's in your purse for what's in my purse?" In comes one of her assistants with a HUGE purse, she opens it up and pulls out a flat screen tv. One of my favorites is during Hurricane Katrina, she was collecting money for the relief. Companies would come by and give the huge checks, you know what I'm talking about. She would pull out a HUGE pen and endorse the HUGE check. Then, she would put it into a HUGE envelope and take it over to a HUGE ATM, she would push the buttons and deposit the check all the way down to receiving a HUGE receipt. It made me laugh... the other thing that makes her so enjoyable is that she is always giving gifts to her audience and to her guests. She even had HIllary Clinton on the show today. I think famous people enjoy coming to her show knowing that they are going to be able to laugh. They can relax and be casual. I love it.

Bathrooms

Nathan and I are very open about our bodily functions and bowel movements, etc. So, it shouldn't be any surprise that I would include a picture of an "eastern toilet." The one here was one of the worst. I myself went in one WAY worse, but didn't have the camera with me. But...when nature calls, it calls. You take what you can get. The idea with the toilet is to squat over the opening. The other thing about the bathrooms in China was that you needed to always carry your own tissue to wipe. Even in some of the nicest places there wasn't any toilet paper in the stalls. I learned that the hard way;)